I was guilty of having this attitude for a really long time…and if I’m being honest…I still struggle with it.
Any woman who decides to take control of her life, make her dreams come true and set huge goals is going to, at some point, become a victim of this attitude.
You may have told yourself “I’ll be happy when I’m really successful.” Or “I’ll be happy once I start making money from my business.” For me, it was often “I’ll be happy when I have a boyfriend.” Well guess what, yes my boyfriend does make me incredibly happy and he’s amazing BUT…I just transferred the feeling onto something else. Now it’s “I’ll be happy when my income doubles.” The cycle can go indefinitely.
Choosing to break it is one of the most empowering things you can do for yourself.
It will take daily practice and mindfulness but here are three ways you can take a positive step forward straight away.
- Write down three joys you experienced from the day before. I do this every morning as part of my morning routine. It could be something big, for example “signed a new client/customer.” Or it could be something as small as “got to the gym.” It’s whatever you found joy in! Mine from today were “drinking red wine and eating pizza with my partner,” “cocktails at lunch time,” and “viewing a new house I loved.”
- Come up with 2-3 activities, events, people etc that make you feel happy and start incorporating them far more into your life. It’s easy to get caught up in working really hard because, you know, ‘you’ll be happy when…’ but life is happening right now! I have definitely been guilty of saying no to things that make me happy so I can do more work, or feeling guilty when taking a break. Remember that life really is short so do more of the little things that make you happy.
- Mind dump. Journalling is one of my absolute favourite things to do and it can be a great tool for removing your ‘I’ll be happy when’ attitude. Try and think back to when you last achieved a goal that you were sure would make you happy and solve all your problems. What changed? What didn’t change? Chances are there is something far deeper you need to work on. Happiness comes from within and should be a daily practice. Write for an hour or so around this and see what comes up for you. It will give you a fantastic awareness and it’s also very liberating to know that you get to be happy right now!
I have put together a freebie that talks more about how essential happiness is to success, based on academic research on the psychology of success. Click here to get your copy!