A couple of months ago I was in the process of trying to find a new (and first) home for me and my partner. Anyone who has ever searched for a new house will know how stressful it can be.
One week there is absolutely nothing you like. The next week there are about 20 homes you love, you can’t fit in viewings and by the time you can they have been snapped up clearly by someone with no job/responsibilities/life?! Who are these people by the way?!
Anyway, I digress…I don’t know if you can relate but life events like this trigger my workaholism tendency BIG TIME. Logically I know that it is going to take some time and patience to trawl through Right Move but every hour I took out of my work day to look for houses, caused me stress. Stress that grew the longer it was taking to find somewhere suitable.
Luckily, I have developed an awareness now of this reaction, and have learnt to handle it. However, this might be something you are still going through.
We finally found somewhere we both liked and that ticked all of the boxes. We booked a viewing. After messing around and generally being unproductive in the morning (it happens to the best of us), we stopped for a coffee/breakfast on the way and made the 30 minute trip to the house.
That’s when the monster began to emerge. I could feel his claws slowly scraping the inside of my stomach.
The workaholic monster that lives inside me and likes to give me glorious waves of guilt on an almost continuous basis if I am not glued to my computer screen.
I began to feel more and more agitated that I wasn’t working.
We viewed the house, took the 30 minute drive back to where we live and decided to grab some lunch. Then ensued a 20 minute lap whilst trying to find a car parking spot.
The monster emerged even further.
I could feel my patience fading and began to snap at my partner.
You know that feeling when someone is annoying just for breathing? Yeah, that.
It was ridiculous because as a coach and network marketer, I have a residual business. I was making money that whole day, without even working.
It gave me a really big wake up call that the feeling was based on something much deeper, and something that I needed to address.
If you can relate to this post, here are my top ways to deal with these feelings when they come up.
- Breath. As you feel the agitation and stress rising just pause and breathe. Ground yourself in the moment.
- Challenge yourself. Is it rational to get angry at yourself for taking time out to do something like view a future home, test drive a car or pay some household bills? No. You know this.
- Think deeper about where this feeling is coming from. After (a lot) of digging I found that four me it was my deep fear of losing all my money. This fear has caused me to feel I must work all hours, all day in order to maintain my level of income. Although it’s a work in progress, I challenge this fear constantly and I’m in the process of retraining my brain to realise the truth that it’s about working smarter, and not harder.